While talking, somehow the conversation came around to parental expectations of their kids (our students). My mom said something that I hadn’t thought about before, but that one of her biggest things was always that we be unique. And while it may not have occurred to me, she’s right: she did, indirectly, encourage uniqueness. When we were little and had to bring something in for show-and-tell, she never let us bring our favorite stuffed animal like all of the other kids. We’d bring in something like an original rivet from the Golden Gate Bridge that her brother in San Francisco had sent us as a gift. For Halloween, we’d never be one of three Spider-Man costumes in the class because she’d always make our costumes herself. One year my sister was a cuckoo clock, which was made by cutting some holes in a huge box so she could wear it, painted and decorated like a clock, little cuckoo bird and all. I guarantee you no one else in the class had that costume.
I’ve always stressed the importance of being unique, too, but I never really thought of why I have that mentality. I guess it came from my mom (as much as it pains me to admit). I tell my students that the biggest insult someone could say to them is to tell them they’re just like everyone else. One year I directed a school production of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, and in my director’s note in the program I pointed out that the evil of the White Witch, with her desire for always-winter and her proclivity for turning others to stone, was that she wanted everything to be the same all the time. Sameness sucks.
Our society, of course, loves to talk individuality but walk conformity. Nowhere is this more evident, unfortunately, than in our schools, particularly our secondary schools with their bell schedules and hall passes. Growing up (living, really) is a process of both discovery and creation. One of the greatest gifts we can give our students is to encourage them to discover and create themselves, not somebody else.
My mom is an art teacher. It makes sense that she would focus on being unique. But really, we’re all artists. If we create nothing else, we’re creating a life. I think we should make it truly our own. I think we should be unique.